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How To: Ride Campus Elevator

Posted in School with tags , , on September 5, 2012 by assholeking

Elevators are the best. It helps me, a young, energetic, and totally still not old person, save energy by not walking a few extra steps whilst fighting the force of gravity despite the fact that it is healthy as shit.

I take the elevator every day. Here’s a guide to riding elevators, with different possible courses of action for different situations.

Few people waiting:

  1. Press the up or down key repeatedly until elevator arrives. Keep doing this because if you keep pressing it for too long, it might magically pop out a genie and grant you 5 rule-free wishes.
  2. Hop in.
  3. Wait until you reach your destination floor. If you are alone or are the last one inside the lift, press all buttons for all floors. This will guarantee all the people from all floors a ride in the next few days.
  4. Leave
  5. Pat yourself in the back, for you have served all floors. Even those without intelligent life.

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